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The Board of Hi Five
The Board of Hi Five
Baseball’s opening day was on Monday, and it has been a while since we have done a good sports related top 5. I could have said Top 5 teams that need to win a World Series, but hell, for most of these teams, I’d be happy if they even reached the ALCS or NLCS.
1. Chicago Cubs (est. 1902) – The last NL Pennant won by this ‘cursed’ organization was in 1945. The last world series? Well, that was 101 years ago in 1908. However, this year, the Cubbies seem to be a team of choice to actually win something this year. They finally have a good pitching staff, and adequate offense with Milton Bradley, Alfonse Soriano, and Aramis Ramirez in the lineup. Will they break the curse? I don’t know, but many people are pulling for them.
2. Pittsburgh Pirates (est. 1891) – The Pirates will always be my #1 team, so in the words of my friends dad; “You must be used to being in last place for everything.” The Bucs have gone since 1979 without a NL Pennant or a World Series. They would have had a chance at the NLCS in 1994, but the strike got in the way. After the strike, the organization fell apart. All their best players and manager left, leaving them with a shell of a team. But things are in motion, having fired GM David Littlefield in ’07, building a new stadium which is one of the best in MLB, and trying to draft talent from odd sources…cricket players from India…hey, it’s worth a shot.
3. Milwaukee Brewers (est. 1970) – No World Series wins, only one trip there, in 1982 when they won their only Pennant while in the American League. In 1998, they swtiched to the National League, where they have been dormant up until last year. However, since the Yankees took away C.C. Sabitha, I’m not sure what will become of the Brewers this year. I just hope they go back to the old logos.
4. Seattle Mariners (est. 1977) – No World Series, No Pennants. They did make it to the ALCS in 2001 (with a AL record 116 wins), but lost to the Yankees. I feel the problem lies in the fans. Seattle may have the most fairweather fans of any major sports city…except maybe South Florida…..
5. Baltimore Orioles (est. 1954) – Their last Pennant was in 1983, and they also won the Series that year. Ever since Cal Ripken Jr. retired, I haven’t heard much from this franchise. Maybe they should bring him back…at least as a coach or manager…
HM – Kansas City Royals
Last week were the inductions of the newest HOF members, which included: Jeff Beck, Little Anthony & the Imperials, Metallica, Run-D.M.C., and Bobby Womack. Not a horrible list, but honestly, there are so many more deserving artists that have not received their due. The only criteria for being nominated is that it has to be 25 years after the release of the first album.
1. The Cars – Granted, these fine men will get their due fairly soon (I hope), but I still think they should be in it already. Soooo many classic hits…My Best Friend’s Girl, Good Times Roll, Just What I Needed, Let’s Go, Magic, Drive, You Might Think, and Shake It Up just to name a few. I learned how to play almost all of their songs on guitar because they are such a great example of pop songwriting.
2. The Cure – These guys should have been inducted the first year of elegibility, which would have been 2004. Instead, that year they inducted Jackson Browne, ZZ Top, George Harrison, The Dells, Bob Seger, Prince, and Traffic. Really? Traffic?
3. Devo – Akron, OH’s bext export, along with naming their university team the Zips. Pioneers of everything awesome, these guys are mostly known for Whip It, but there are so many other great songs. Also, I would argue that they have influeced as many musicians in my generation as the Beatles have. Granted, the HOF has a yellow Devo suit in the museum, which was the highlight of the exibit for me. Who cares about the actual wall from Pink Floyd’s The Wall? Not me.
4. Genesis/Peter Gabriel/Phil Collins – Genesis deserves to be in it as an entity, and Gabriel and Collins both need to be there as solo artists. Formed in 1967, and still playing to this day, these men can be credited with some of the most influential ambient/prog rock songs with Gabriel, and some of the most influential pop songs of the 1980′s with Collins.
5. Tommy James and the Shondells – I hope that Tiffany doesn’t make it with her cover of I Think We’re Alone Now before the original group is inducted. Tommy James and the Shondells had a string of hits in the mid-late 60′s with Hanky Panky, Crimson and Clover, I Think We’re Alone Now, Mony Mony, and Sweet Cherry Wine, which are some of the greatest rock anthems and most memorable melodies. Who doesn’t go nuts when they hear Mony, Mony?
- Roxy Music/Brian Eno
- Journey (although, since growing up in a city whose theme song is Don’t Stop Believing I could really care less if they got in)
- Joy Division
- Hüsker Dü
- Tom Waits
- Sonic Youth
All four of us grew up in Binghamton and one of us still resides there. We went to high school around the corner from today’s horrible events. All of our families still live in Binghamton, and Binghamton will always be home for us. Our thoughts are with the families of the victims.
1. 4/3/2009 – Binghamton, NY – Guns used: .45 Calibur and 9mm Handguns **Registered Gun Owner**
2. 4/16/2007 – Blacksburg, VA – Guns used: Glock 19, Walther P22
3. 4/20/1999 – Columbine, CO – Guns used: 12 gauge Savage-Springfield 67H pump-action shotgun, Hi-Point 995 Carbine 9 mm semi-automatic rifle, 9 mm Intratec Tec-9 Semi-automatic handgun, 12 gauge Stevens 311D double barreled sawed-off shotgun, Tec-9 handgun
4. 9/5/2002-10/24/2002 – DC/MD/VA Beltway Sniper Shootings – Gun used: Bushmaster XM-15 semiautomatic .223 caliber rifle
5. 50,000 Gun related deaths in the U.S. each year.
HM – Criminal background checks do not work unless they also apply to gun shows.
HM – If we want to find out the origins of illegal weapons, we need a national gun registry.
HM – More people are killed by their own guns than criminals for whom those handguns were originally intended to kill.
HM – You don’t need an Uzi with armor-piercing bullets for hunting any animal.
- Steve R. and Mike M.
Here I have listed my top 5 favorite fictional High Schools. It’s based on how much I like the show/movie/comic, and how much actually takes place in or around the high school.
Bayside High School – rarely seen from the outside, or anywhere inside other than the main hallway with their lockers, Mr. Belding’s office, the boy’s locker room, and the classroom that apparently EVERY class is taught in. I wanted to find a picture of the inside of the school, then I thought, “I don’t think people have seen the intro to this show enough, they’d probably enjoy it one more time”…
Smallville High School – Where Superman used to study algebra, Shakespeare, and eat bad mashed potatoes. Plus, I would want to go to school anywhere Kristin Kreuk’s Lana Lang does.
Eastside High – Lean On Me is a movie that I seem to watch whenever its on TV. Paterson, NJ’s Eastside High seems to have nothing going for it, but that changes when it gets a principal that fights knife wielding punks, locks the doors from the inside with chains and violates fire code, screams at people through a bullhorn, and as seen in this clip, dares kids to jump from the school rooftop.
Riverdale High School – Archie and Friends
The Harbor School – The OC
John Adams High School – Boy Meets World
Liberty High School – My So Called Life
McKinley High School – Freaks and Geeks and also The Wonder Years (although probably a different school)
Capeside High – Dawson’s Creek
Since I have been debating returning to school for my masters, my mind has been preoccupied with the fun times I had in college, and realizing that if I return to school, it won’t be like it was. My list for today had but one rule: The entire movie/TV show had to be based in and around a college, not just mentioned in one episode, or in one line of the movie.
1. Faber College [Animal House] – Ah, the quintessential college movie. Partying, destruction, stickin’ it to the man…it has it all. I know I never owned a shirt that read ‘College’ or had an Animal House poster in my dorm room, but my senior year the Sound Engineer house that I lived in could run toe to toe with the house of Delta. But, I don’t think any of us could’ve matched Blutarski….
2. Huxley College [Horse Feathers] – For those of you who don’t know me, I am a huge Marx Brothers fan. These were some of the earliest films I saw as a child, thanks to my Dad who is also a fan of them. Huxley College’s rival is Darwin College who they have to play in a football game. Groucho, Chico, Harpo, and Zeppo formulate a plan to kidnap players on Darwin’s team, and as always the plan fails, but with hilarious results.
3. Port Chester University [PCU] – Now a cult classic, PCU brought back the feeling of Animal House, but taking place in the politically correct early ’90s. The Pit party still stands as one of the great party scenes in film, even naked guy showed up. Even though Jeremy Piven was almost 30 when he made this film, he played the part beautifully.
4. Minnesota State [Coach] – Why doesn’t anyone syndicate this show anymore? I would DVR it in an instant. The situations that Coach Fox, Luther and Dauber got themselves into were heartwarming, as well as damn funny. The Screaming Eagles even won a National Title in the Pioneer Bowl, thems some mighty fine coaches.
5. Adams College [Revenge of the Nerds] – One of the lesser prized movie trilogies, the Nerds movies were always funny and triumphant. Lewis Skolnick gives Betty the best sex she has ever had….just like a true Nerd, and Gilbert rallies everyone to make Lambda Lambda Lambda the premiere frat on campus. I think I need to go watch this again, it has been a while.
H.M. – There are many honorable mentions, and most people will probably be mad at me for not having Harrison University [Old School] in my top 5. Well, my reasoning is thus; It was a great movie, very funny, but I always felt like it was too much like Animal House, and I can’t put both of them in my top 5. So now, my Honorable Mentions….
- Harrison University [Old School]
- Grand Lakes University [Back To School]
- South Central Louisiana State University [The Waterboy]
- Texas State University [Necessary Roughness]
- Steve R.
Many men, and a few women have had the honor of being the President in a film. I give you my choices, and most of them are in comedies because we always have a serious President in real life.
1. Kevin Klein as Dave Kovic/Pres. Bill Mitchell in Dave. Charming, intellectual, eloquent, and selfless. I would love to have this in any president, and I think Obama is pretty close, but if the race were between Dave and Obama, well…..
2. Peter Sellers as Pres. Merkin Muffley in Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. After much nagging by my roommate Jon, I finally sat and watched this film. I quickly realized I should have watched it many, many, many years ago. Pres. Muffley, a very bland and complacent man, does nothing, just sits and watches as the world enters a total nuclear holocost.
3. Mel Brooks as Pres. Skroob in Spaceballs. Just look at the moustache. It alone tells you that the man is an inept president whose luggage combination is 1-2-3-4-5. Though he is not the President of the United States, he is a president, and belongs here.
4. Harrison Ford as Pres. James Marshall in Air Force One. This role had to be written with two people in mind, either Ford, or Chuck Norris. Frankly, both kick ass, and Ford takes control in this otherwise horrible/predictable film….but I’ll still watch it if it is on TV. He also wins best movie president tagline… “Get off my plane.”
5. Terry Crews as Pres. Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho in Idiocracy. He is a porn star and five-time ultimate smackdown wrestling champion who gets elected president in a mind-numbingly dumb state of the world. Who could ask for more?
6. Jack Nicholson as Pres. James Dale in Mars Attacks! He holds back the nuclear attack on the Martians and offers them peace. They respond accordingly, and impale the President with a Martian flag. Plus, he is Natalie Portman’s father in the film…and she looks really good in this movie.
7. Bill Pullman as Pres. Thomas Whitmore in Independence Day. He flies into combat with his fellow Air Force brethren in order to defeat the alien invasion. I always found it funny that both Independence Day and War of the Worlds basically end the same way…the demise of the aliens coming at the hands of a cold, one technical, one biological.
8. Josh Brolin as Pres. George W. Bush in W. The only President on this list based on a real President, and although slanted towards the bumbling, Cheney-controlled version of our former President, Brolin offers a view that most Americans held of Bush in his last year. How will history judge Bush? It will be interesting to see if his stock rises at all…because it cannot get much lower.
9. Michael Douglas as Pres. Andrew Shepherd in The American President. Although higher on many lists I have seen, I feel that if, as President, your major priority is finding love while being single in the White House, well….the taxpayers wont’t vote you to another term.
10. Lloyd Bridges as Pres. Tug Benson in Hot Shots! Part Deux. There are so many other presidents that can occupy this space, but it is Lloyd Bridges. I mean, come on. The man deserves the credit.
H.M. – Morgan Freeman as Pres. Tom Beck in Deep Impact
- Steve R. with suggestion by Jeffrey S. French.